Self Definition (a post written while falling asleep)

A wise self-conscious and awkward 17-year-old Maggie once said "If you define yourself too much, there's no way you can ever really change." Surprisingly, these words have been like a guiding light throughout my life, and if anything has defined me as an adult, it might be a lack of self-definition. That has allowed me a lot of flexibility in my career and life choices, but at times it has also left me feeling lost and ungrounded.
I thought of this tonight as I introduced myself at the RailsGirlsDC Meetup. I wasn't sure what to say about myself since I still feel like an imposter in the tech field (although after talking to others there last night I think there's a lot of people like me out there, and we all feel that way). More importantly though, I'm not sure I know what I'm doing yet or how to explain it. I am jumping into something without trying to define who I am becoming. As a social worker, I think I let that role define me too much, expecting that one day I would wake up as this awesome super social worker, who always knew the right thing to say and saved lives just by breathing. This time, I'm taking away those expectations of myself. I know there's a long road to become a great programmer, and that it is a destination that I will never fully reach, and I am much more comfortable with that than I was as a social worker.
Speaking of roles we play, I told a client and her caretakers today that I was leaving my position, and they reacted with more emotion than I expected. The woman I worked with most told me that she had come to see me as family and that my client had never had a more attentive case manager. I had to work very hard not to cry at that moment, since I had always felt like I was failing this client and her caretakers. I believed I had played the role of negligent social worker but they saw me as quite the opposite. In a way this goes back to where I started. When you define yourself, you often miss a lot of the picture. You never know how others are defining you, and if your definition is too rigid it is hard to hear how other people truly see you, or take steps to make changes in your life. I could say a lot on this topic so I may continue it in the future.
(But now I define myself as delirious with drowsiness so I will end this!)