Non-violent Apps

 I have a vision for an app I want to build that allows a user to reflect mindfully on what they are scrolling through using nonviolent communication. It has turned out to be a tough product vision to articulate, especially with a small budget. My main idea was to allow a user (myself to start) to read the news and then be prompted to reflect. The problem I've run into is that most news apis are currently paid. There seem to be fewer general news RSS feeds available now. (If you're reading this and know of one, let me know!)

As part of researching this today, I found two apps that are based on Nonviolent Communication and tried them both. I thought I'd share my experience.

Nonviolent Communication App by Ilia Kovalenko

Ilia Kovenko calls himself a "future therapist" and has developed a few other mental health based apps.

This one felt close to what I had envisioned. It walks you through observing, picking feelings, then selecting unmet needs, then it asks what you can request of someone.

Enjoyed: 

• Picking feelings and needs.
• Seeing the final entry.

Challenges:

• It's a long list of feelings with no way to search. You have to go through all the "Unpleasant" feelings to get to the "Pleasant" feelings.
• Observations being so free-form can be daunting. I had no idea at all what to put for what to request from someone.

There's a paid portion of this app I haven't subscribed to as well.

Inner Giraffe: NVC Empathy by Edwin Liu

I can't find any additional information about Edwin Liu. This is his only app listed on the app store. 

Enjoyed:

• The interactive NVC walkthrough around difficult emotions.
• The journal entries.
• Feelings were broken out into pleasant and unpleasant through emojis. There was also a section of "faux" feelings which I didn't explore more.

Challenges:

• I did not understand the journal entries until after a bit of trial and error.
• The interactive walkthroughs are very clearly not based on your input. It's helpful but there's no change regardless of what you answer the prompts. It feels like it should given the conversational nature of the input.

This app is completely free.

Step One

I am a failure.

Ouch. These words hurt. And yet, I'm the one saying them. I've been saying them a lot recently. Mostly to my husband and inside my own head. Of course, he says, "you're not a failure," which I greatly appreciate. The problem is I'm saying something vague to express a real feeling. 

Why do I feel like a failure? Because I feel like I'm back at step one in a number of areas in my life. Next fall, both my children will start a new school. I recently changed jobs and the skills required aren't the skills I have been using. People I relied on have moved away, or relationships changed, and I'm realizing I don't have the same community I used to. I do not want to be here. I regret the decisions that led me here.

A few years ago I texted a dear friend during a difficult time about the feelings I was having. She's a friend through Al-Anon so she replied "You're back at step one." I'm reminded of that. In the 12 steps, step one is "Admitted I was powerless over ____--that my life had become unmanageable." And people go back there many times. I'm there. I'm powerless of my feelings of success. My life is feeling unmanageable.

Step two is "Came to believe a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity." The problem for me is that I'm struggling with a power greater than myself right now. I wonder what greater power would allow the wars in the world, the casual cruelty, the abuses of power. The answers are not clear. I just know I can't do this alone.